When Hogwarts is overrun by possums!
by citcat299
Summary: When Harry, Ron and Hermione are woken at 4:30am by loud screeching noises, things get personal. hehehe DIE POSSUMS DIE! PG-for swearing. please R
1. Default Chapter

****I'm bored, its 6 bloody 30 am in the morning and I was woken up by a gang of possums having a bitch fight right outside my bedroom window. [GRRRRR] anyway I don't know what this is yet, but it'll probably just be a bit of fun!****  
  
Harry was woken up at 4:30 am by a screeching sound outside his window.  
  
Harry: What the fuck is that noise?  
  
Ron: [yawning] I swear, I've never heard a sound as awful as that before.  
  
They got back into bed and tried to sleep but the screeching went on occasionally broken up by the sound of running and loose stones falling off the roof.  
  
Harry: [seriously annoyed] That's it! Not even a log could sleep through that racket. I'm going down to the common room.  
  
Ron: [musing] I don't think it could have been the owls, I mean, owls don't screech, they produce a softer hooting kind of sound and ... Hey! wait for me!!!  
  
The walked down the carpeted stairs from the boys dormitory to find most of Griffindor house huddled in the common room still in their pyjamas. The screeching overhead was magnified and bounced strangely off the wall.  
  
Hermione: Harry! Ron! Over here!  
  
Hermione was sitting next to the fireplace in her pyjamas with books scattered around her. Harry and Ron sat down next to her. She was feverishly flicking through a book full of pictures of animals muttering to herself.  
  
Hermione: not here... not here.... these are native to Iceland.... can it.....no.....maybe this.... Wait a minute, this has to be it!!!!  
  
She was pointing to a picture of a little furry creature with a pink snout, beady black eyes, and a long curly tail.  
  
Ron: Awwww, it's SO cute!  
  
Hermione: [Frowning] Get a load of this though, [reading from book] This animal commonly found in Australia is called a possum. It is loud, raucous, and very territorial. Many Australian towns and city's are overrun by these creatures and they are pests. They make loud screeching noises when fighting over territory and leave huge messes wherever they go. They breed rapidly and often get inside the walls of the houses they occupy. They are a menace and are not easily exterminated.  
  
Harry: [pointing] I think they are already in the walls here.  
  
Loud scratching and bumping noises were coming from the wall nearest to the fire place. The Weasly twins were banging on the wall with no success, the noises were just getting louder.  
  
A loud yowl came from overhead following the bumping sound of something rolling down the roof. The sound was cut off suddenly from the ground.  
  
Hermione: [mouth quivering] The poor thing!  
  
Harry: [sarcastically] That "poor thing" has been the reason we are all awake her at 4:30 in the morning!  
  
Ron: But its SO cute!  
  
Harry: Don't you get it, its a pest, it makes mess, loud noises and wrecks houses!  
  
Ron: But its SO cute!  
  
Harry: [repeatedly whacking his head against the wall.]  
  
****DIE POSSUMS DIE!!!! [giggles] oh no Hogwarts is overrun by possums! when will it end? what will they do!?? to find out please READ AND REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!! and I might be nice enough to write another chapter. ;)**** 


	2. Oh God, you've gone and killed R and H!

_Authors Note: Yes, I wrote this years and years ago, and yes I know I still haven't updated UMO. I just felt like writing this today. Hopefully more updates with be upcoming. Also, obviously since I am a lot older, my writing style has changed significantly, though I have tried to write this in a fairly casual style. Anyway, enjoy!_

**CHAPTER 2: Oh God, you've gone and killed Ron and Hermione!**

"Something must be done about this… this… horrible noise."

Fred and George had joined the trio.

"Well if you guys suddenly figure out some way to exterminate these monsters we have never seen or heard of before, I'm right here," said Harry sarcastically.

"Oh my!" cried Hermione.

"What?" said Harry with some trepidation.

"Look at it!"

There in the window sat a lone possum, gazing into the common room with enormous black eyes in its tiny furry face. There was a collective "Aww" from the assembled Gryffindors.

"No Hermione! Don't!" cried Harry sharply as Hermione stood up in a daze and started drifting towards the window. He ran forward to grab Hermione and hold her back but she wrestled him off.

"Ron! Help me!"

Ron joined Hermione at the window, the same star struck expression on his face.

"It's… so… adorable" murmured Ron and Hermione together.

"Uh oh," said Fred.

There was a crash and a yowl, followed by screaming. Ron had opened the window, and all havoc was let loose as the possums entered the common room in droves.

"Oh god! Oh god! They're everywhere!" screamed George, as Fred knocked him behind a couch, shielding his own face with his dressing gown. Harry was busy casting volleys of stunning spells with his wand, however most of them appeared to be making holes in the walls considering the incredible speed of the possums and the fact that he was only half awake in that ungodly hour of the morning.

"There's…. too… many…. of…. them!!"

"Help me!" screamed Hermione, who had jumped out the window in her desperate attempts to shake off the baby possum which had latched itself to her finger and was now balancing dangerously on the slanting roof tiles approximately 20 metres above the ground.

"I'm coming Hermione!" shouted Ron, scrambling out the window and getting stuck half way due to his gawky frame.

"I'll help you brother dear!" cried Fred grinning evilly as he shoved Ron from behind with all his might, causing him to crash outwards, hitting Hermione in the small of the back and knocking them both off the edge of the roof. There was a shrill scream, a thud, then silence (apart from the continual racket the possums were making in Gryffindor tower).

"You know," said George conversationally, "I'm almost one hundred per cent certain that scream came from Ron."  
"Oh my god!"

Harry closed his eyes in horror as though to somehow turn back time and block out that whole disastrous last five minutes.

"You've killed them!!"

"Don't be a git Harry," said Fred jovially, patting Harry on the back, "You know the safety spells within Hogwarts walls would stop them before they hit the ground."

(A.N. written according to the time before HBP came out, obviously)

Harry remained bent over double, taking deep breaths and trying his utmost not to hyperventilate. He didn't appear to notice the large possum poised on his back while ripping out his hair.

_-o-o- Ta da! What do think? Prefer the old writing style? Like the new? All comments greatly appreciated :).-o-o-_


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